Deuteronomy Challenge: Day Forty-Seven

I took a few days off from journaling, I am not sure why. Like most of the people in my family, I battle depression really badly. It was never a thing until I hit my late thirties. I have been doing good now for some time, but it got the best of me a couple days ago. Once again I am reminded of how much more helpful this program will be with a weekly support group, church if you will.

I ate well and worked out my triceps and cardio. I took some days off from the gym and journaling, but I am not happy about it. The biggest impediment for me to this program is the mental element of it. I did not expect this but it is becoming more and more a reality for me. This is so much more difficult than I forecasted.

kyrie Pantokrator
A Song of Penitence

O Lord and Ruler of the hosts of heaven, *
God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob,
and of all their righteous offspring:
You made the heavens and the earth, *
with all their vast array.
All things quake with fear at your presence; *
they tremble because of your power.
But your merciful promise is beyond all measure; *
it surpasses all that our minds can fathom.
O Lord, you are full of compassion, *
long-suffering, and abounding in mercy.
You hold back your hand; *
you do not punish as we deserve.
In your great goodness, Lord,
you have promised forgiveness to sinners, *
that they may repent of their sin and be saved.
And now, O Lord, I bend the knee of my heart, *
and make my appeal, sure of your gracious goodness.
I have sinned, O Lord, I have sinned, *
and I know my wickedness only too well.
Therefore I make this prayer to you: *
Forgive me, Lord, forgive me.
Do not let me perish in my sin, *
nor condemn me to the depths of the earth.
For you, O Lord, are the God of those who repent, *
and in me you will show forth your goodness.
Unworthy as I am, you will save me,
in accordance with your great mercy, *
and I will praise you without ceasing all the days of my life.
For all the powers of heaven sing your praises, *
and yours is the glory to ages of ages. Amen.

Prayer of Manasseh, 1-2, 4, 6-7, 11-15

Most merciful God,
we confess that we have sinned against you
in thought, word, and deed,
by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.
We have not loved you with our whole hearts;
we have not loved our neighbors as ourselves.
We are truly sorry and we humbly repent.
For the sake of your Son Jesus Christ,
have mercy on us and forgive us;
that we may delight in your will, and walk in your ways,
to the glory of your Name. Amen.

How Precious is Your Steadfast Love
TO THE CHOIRMASTER. OF DAVID, THE SERVANT OF THE LORD.
¹ Transgression speaks to the wicked deep in his heart; there is no fear of God before his eyes.
² For he flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated.
³ The words of his mouth are trouble and deceit; he has ceased to act wisely and do good.
⁴ He plots trouble while on his bed; he sets himself in a way that is not good; he does not reject evil.
⁵ Your steadfast love, O LORD, extends to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.
⁶ Your righteousness is like the mountains of God; your judgments are like the great deep; man and beast you save, O LORD.
⁷ How precious is your steadfast love, O God! The children of mankind take refuge in the shadow of your wings.
⁸ They feast on the abundance of your house, and you give them drink from the river of your delights.
⁹ For with you is the fountain of life; in your light do we see light.
¹⁰ Oh, continue your steadfast love to those who know you, and your righteousness to the upright of heart!
¹¹ Let not the foot of arrogance come upon me, nor the hand of the wicked drive me away.
¹² There the evildoers lie fallen; they are thrust down, unable to rise.

Psalm 36:title–12 (ESV)